Is it awful that when I read the comments from London Preppy's blog that say his writing is so fantastic and wonderful and that he should become a writer make me sick? I think so. I really don't think it's a jealousy kind of thing, but I honestly don't' think his writing is THAT great. It's good, it has a clear style and subject matter and good flow but to say that he's so great really is pushing it. This may sound weird from someone who made a wiki page for him, but I'm fucked okay? Then again I always start to not like things other people like. It's such a childish way to be, but it's only when there is a lot of hype, I don't like hype. I'm starting to get bored with his blog, maybe it's because I don't really want to steal his life anymore, maybe it's because the blog is starting to repeat it's self. He keeps all the good stuff private so what's left but to regurgitate the superficial? Maybe it's just the writing style, I find it too easy to copy therefore less unique? That's how I see it. Maybe it's just the mood I'm in today. Yeah probably the mood. I just started the day off badly with frustrating contacts and getting all worked up about missing 20 mins of my math class and having little sleep. Hmmm I feel better typing this up. Oh no wait false alarm.
No dream today, no time for a dream. Only a panic attack. I missed the first 20 mins of my math class because I was too busy with my contact lenses and missed getting a ride with my brother so I had to catch a ride with the next oldest one. I get to class and oddly all the left handed people are sitting on the left side of the room. This is disturbing. And then the Prof won't give me the notes that I've missed and says I need to make a friends. God didn't I just say I had a disability and I just need the notes and I'll be fine? Fuck that noise, I think I'm going to go through CSD (centre for students with disabilities) to get them to tell her to give me the notes because you can do that kind of thing. I don't know I just feel really crazy about what I may have potentially missed from those notes even though I could probably fill them out myself. She posts unfinished notes on a website. Fuck I'm fucked. I'm really not right in the head. I have a math assignment due on Friday. Lets see if I can do it. I'm so paralysed that I can't even withstand a peek at what those questions might be.
Some times I think that I don't really have a problem and that I'm just doing this for attention and personal gain. But then I have these moments and conclude it's really not so.
I'm going to go to the orthodontist and have a consultation to see what kind of treatment I'm going to have. Braces or Invisalign. Sweet Krishna please make it invisalign!! But because of this I'm going to miss my first bio tutorial and my 5th bio lecture. The lecture isn't so bad because it's tape recorded and I have a friend in that class that will give me the notes. Yes I see it, so don't say it cause then I'll just ask you to leave. I don't want to make friends in that math class. It's full of mentalists. I feel like I'm in the "special" class. It's probably better that I feel bored and smarter than everyone than to be falling behind. Hmm maybe I am that flexible......
I've never had to study before University. So I don't know how to. It's so strange. I've never had to work hard to get something into my brain. It's really weird and frightening prospect. Not the learning part but the starting something new part. I guess you can say I don't like change, well change is fine along someone is there to launch me. I'm tragic at doing things on my own for the premier fois. I get panicked and scared and the back of my head and neck bursts into flames.
Food: apple, banana, almonds, pea pods, way to salty ground beef and some green vegetable, water, and probably the orange I still have in my bag.
Work out: was going to but was too panicked to move. Maybe I'll do it at home some how.
4 comments:
If you feel down on yourself, seeing someone else getting praise is liable to irritate you.
Obviously all of the people who read LP's blog are going to like it or they wouldn't be there...unless they are being ironic.
Most of us start to resent anything or one who gets too popular. Then we like to see it torn down. Then built up again. Like Cher's face. It's natural. I mean the instinct, not her face.
zach: I laughed at your last sentence. Yeah I know this. But we still feel what we feel. And even now being in a clearer state of mind I still think too many people are up LP's ass. And I don't think the same thing about Elyse Sewells blog though she has MANY more readers than LP. Her average post gets 300 comments. Well I guess it's a matter of taste and POV.
"...but I honestly don't think his writing is THAT great"
Well, LP is a good writer. He is witty and crazy and people like him for that. He also leads a life very different from my own and I like the glimpses he provides me.
You are good yourself. Your blog is simple and honest. I can relate to your life better than that of someone older like LP.
Btw, hi, I am Bregalad.
bregalad: Hi Bregalad, well like I said before it's your point of view I suppose on what constitutes good writing. I guess you could say that about what I write, this wasn't intended to be read, it was suppose to be a journal if anything. Well I may write more convolutely later on. Depending on how I feel.
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