Soooo... I guess I'm having a hard time letting go of control. I feel like because I'm not a tall person I can never be sexy or attractive which in turn means I will never have a super attractive boyfriend. This is troubling in so many ways. Okay so lets tease it out. I feel like it's unfair that I'm not tall and I don't get a chance to be attractive. But there is no set attractive, but there is what society will think is attractive in general. And this idea of fair and correct is apart of control that I want to impose on everything. So I feel cheated while buying into socialized ideas of beauty which is silly of course. I also have scars on my body which makes me think that with every scar I'm more ugly and am worth less. But at the same time I do feel like I think other things are way more important like intelligence that for the most part is preset too. People who are smart will be smart and people attractive will be attractive. There are things that you can do to increase both of these things like stimulating the mind for intelligence and working out for beauty. I feel like I have the intelligence but I don't have what I feel to be beautiful. So I feel stuck. I feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough because I'll never be the super hot guy in magazines and tv. Sure I could work out but people always (in general) find the taller guy more attractive. I feel like I have an attractive face. Also I want to get my years back that I lost to ocd and depression. Can someone do that for me?
Maybe I'm going to be a super villain because the only way to feel okay about this is to drag everyone else down. Shattering the world seems fun, it's like when you see someone build a tower of blocks or they do their hair really nice you just want to mess it up. Gosh someone give me super powers already. I really really deserve them, honest!
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3 comments:
Hi, my name is Tod.
I have all the same issues you do, and I found your blogspot post by googling "is it normal that i have everyone".
I'm majorly insecure, which is most likely the root of my anger.
All I think about is past problems, how I could've handled them differently, and how other other people are better than me. It's kind of ironic, actually, that I hate a lot of people, and yet I have a major inferiority complex.
Anyway, enough of my bitching, I'll help you out.
As a teenage boy, a testosterone-driven, pussy-hungry boy, I can tell you a couple of things:
Short girls are cute and far less intimidating to me, and body scars will never stop me or any man from having sex with you or any other woman.
Just so you know, I'm six-foot-two, and am will probably be six-foot-five when I'm fully grown based on what doctors have told me time and time again. Size in girls has never been an issue with me.
To tell you the truth, a lot of guys will probably prefer shorter girls. And, not to be crude, but a lot of times it's because, well, men are worried about the size of their penis 90% of the time, and smaller girls have smaller vaginas than taller girls, you get the picture.
All guys think like this, by the way.
I couldn't think of a proper way of ending this post, but thanks for making this blog. It helped me relate to another person for once in a little while.
P.S.
I meant *hate* instead of *have* in the second line.
You stupid bastered I think your cured cause u read something huh well how's it workImg out for u. U c everyone has a purpose in life and tht is to die and be reborn in the next life. If u believe In heaven and hell well then u r dum
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