Fame And Swimsuits

Today I signed up with an extras agency. The area where I live has a pretty big filming industry but right now it's in a lull because of the writers strike in the US. I think it's going to be great. I'll probably buy every movie I'm in and watch them just to point out that I'm in frames 18888 -18899. Pretty great huh? And I'll get to bother famous people. And I'll definitely report if they are jerk holes.

While I was downtown I returned a bathing suit. It's made by Priape and it's the worst thing ever. It makes no sense, the after the first time I wear them I rinse them out and put them in it's carrying case and when I get home I pull it out and discover that it decided to bleed on itself? It's white and blue kinda checkered plaid (see below) and the blue bleed pink marks onto the white parts. Quite ingenious I must say. Clearly I didn't read the instructions on the package saying "not for use in pools" and "must not get moist" and "mustn't let touch itself". Well I exchanged it once and it did the same thing again, so when I went back I talked to the guy and I got to choose something else from the racks. I now am a proud owner of an Aussibum swim suit. It's unfortunate I sorta wanted something less gay looking but everything else in the store screamed gay. Maybe I should go to a real sports store and look for a real speedo/swimsuit thing.

Gay Ultimate Frisbee

The team is coming along quite nicely. I can't wait to start playing in the "Local" Ultimate League (LUL). You know I want it to be a good time and have no 'incidents' and yet to truly feel like I have done out reach I feel like there needs to be. I definitely want to kick and homophobic team's ass straight to breeder hell, is that so wrong?

Today I went to the gym and I killed it on the bike. It was soggy with my sweat. I wonder how many time I'll have to do that till I'm skinny?

Working Out

So today I return to working out. It's pretty exciting because I somehow feel like it'll work this time and that it'll stick. And I stuck to my diet pretty darn well until I went to my friends house and we ate a pizza between the two of us. I need to start a Food Journal and a Work Out Journal. Maybe I'll post it on here so that I feel accountable to people to who read this which is not many. Today I worked out with Gymboy. Gymboy has be going to the gym quite regularly and it's showing. He's getting quite sexy and it annoys me. His arms are bigger and his waist gets smaller. I'll show him. We do the stair climber at the start. I do 30 minutes on fat burner because I need all the help I can get on level 12. This leaves me in a puddle of my own sweat and pretty satisfied. I join up with Gymboy at the weights and we do the bench press. I do 35's and do reps of 10 then 8 then 4 then 2. I have grown quite weak and feel kinda silly but it's progress I guess. He does 45's quite easy and while he does this I sorta ogle him and his narrow waist and broad shoulders. I perhaps have to put some protein into my diet. Maybe I need shakes? We do back and I think the weight is around 100 with reps of 10 all the way through. Then shoulders with 25's for me and I do 10, 10, 8. By the end I'm jittery with so much tiredness and adrenaline. Why can't I just wake up tomorrow and look like this? This is currently on my desktop as my background. Damn him.
Or this fool. Parker Gregory. He has the lean toned look that I want although he may be a bit boob heavy.

Today I ate tomatoes, bran cereal, half a pizza, curry soup thing, broccoli, water.

I'm Shallow

Hmm it's kinda apparent that I'm shallow. If you took a cursory look at my blogroll it's quite filled with good looking guys. Hmm I don't know if I'm shallow though. I am for sure concerned with my looks but not so much about the looks of other people. Unless I'm going to do them. Even then I'm sure I'll be flexible. Oh the curse of being gay and having unrealistic goals. It's weird when people say that. Is it truly unrealistic? I mean there are people that look like that walking around all the time. I see them in the gym. They go to school and still have nice bodies. You're face you can't do much about but your body you sure can. I'm also concerned that the blogs I look at are filled with white guys. Hmm I don't dislike Asian guys. I actually have a few crushes on a few right now. Hmm I'll need to correct this. But how can I correct this with out ending up at a creepy website devoted to fetishizing Asian guys? Well you could say that these websites that I have right now are doing the same things but for white guys. Well they are mostly white, but regardless.

Maybe I just want people to like me so that's why I care about how I look and not how they look. SIgh. Either way I'm starting a workout regiment to slim me down and build me up. Maybe I'll post some pictures from before and after.

Armani Exchange

I recently went through the hiring procedure for Armani Exchange. I thought that it was going well but really it was just a bust. Even though I tried my best I don't think I was tall enough or thin enough. I made it all the way to the second interview. They said that if I don't hear from them in 5 business days that they decided to go with someone else and that they will keep me on record. Which means they are going to throw it away. I mean I'm not sure what I expected but maybe I thought they would have gone on a limb and hired me anyways even though I don't have any retail clothing experience and that my cousin works there. I have a year of customer service which I thought was enough. But again I wasn't good looking enough. I mean it is an overpriced brand and it's on Robson ( the local higher end shopping street) so I guess they want the best looking people. Also I'm young compared to the people that work there too. They are all 20 somethings even though I'm 19. Ugg I can't believe they wouldn't hire me, a gay boy, but they hired some clueless looking straight boys.

The guy that interviewed me was gay and I thought that might give me an edge. Nope! It's because he's white, and probably on his man hunt it says no GAM's (Gay Asian Males). It's pretty typical, people hire people they want to fuck, what else is new? What else do you see in the media but gay white males? What do you think of when you think about gay men; I know that's what I see in my head, two white guys. Isn't that sad? I think it's super sad. In the media there might be some ethnic gay men but they are usually flaming. It's like the only masculine gay men can be white. I mean just look at the portrayal of Asian men in the media? They are some weird sexless entity, they might as well be eunuchs! Either we are some kinda weird punky gangsters, Kung Fu masters, or some nerdy smart guys that work for white guys. It's pretty sickening. They are never fully realized men. Just look at fucking Jacky Chan. What a fucking joke! He can never get the girl and his partner always gets it and his partner is always black or white. I mean that is fucked and he's always their sidekick. Not partner. Saying all that there was an Asian guy working there but he was taller and skinnier than me. So it just makes me think that I'm just this fat midget that is super unemployable. I'll have to start going to the gym hardcore.

At least the look for men is more healthy than it is for women. I mean I'm not saying that every needs to look like a model but taking both into account it's probably easier to be a guy. And it's healthier because for guys you just need to put on muscle and get rid of fat which is made easier by having muscle. But for girls they just have to get skinnier and skinnier.

Hmm that's all the rambling I can muster right now.

edit: It's not because of prejudice, it's because I failed the phone test that tests to see who is a dirty stealer so then they think that I am. And can't hire me because I failed it even if they don't think this about me, company policy.