Fame And Swimsuits

Today I signed up with an extras agency. The area where I live has a pretty big filming industry but right now it's in a lull because of the writers strike in the US. I think it's going to be great. I'll probably buy every movie I'm in and watch them just to point out that I'm in frames 18888 -18899. Pretty great huh? And I'll get to bother famous people. And I'll definitely report if they are jerk holes.

While I was downtown I returned a bathing suit. It's made by Priape and it's the worst thing ever. It makes no sense, the after the first time I wear them I rinse them out and put them in it's carrying case and when I get home I pull it out and discover that it decided to bleed on itself? It's white and blue kinda checkered plaid (see below) and the blue bleed pink marks onto the white parts. Quite ingenious I must say. Clearly I didn't read the instructions on the package saying "not for use in pools" and "must not get moist" and "mustn't let touch itself". Well I exchanged it once and it did the same thing again, so when I went back I talked to the guy and I got to choose something else from the racks. I now am a proud owner of an Aussibum swim suit. It's unfortunate I sorta wanted something less gay looking but everything else in the store screamed gay. Maybe I should go to a real sports store and look for a real speedo/swimsuit thing.

Gay Ultimate Frisbee

The team is coming along quite nicely. I can't wait to start playing in the "Local" Ultimate League (LUL). You know I want it to be a good time and have no 'incidents' and yet to truly feel like I have done out reach I feel like there needs to be. I definitely want to kick and homophobic team's ass straight to breeder hell, is that so wrong?

Today I went to the gym and I killed it on the bike. It was soggy with my sweat. I wonder how many time I'll have to do that till I'm skinny?

Working Out

So today I return to working out. It's pretty exciting because I somehow feel like it'll work this time and that it'll stick. And I stuck to my diet pretty darn well until I went to my friends house and we ate a pizza between the two of us. I need to start a Food Journal and a Work Out Journal. Maybe I'll post it on here so that I feel accountable to people to who read this which is not many. Today I worked out with Gymboy. Gymboy has be going to the gym quite regularly and it's showing. He's getting quite sexy and it annoys me. His arms are bigger and his waist gets smaller. I'll show him. We do the stair climber at the start. I do 30 minutes on fat burner because I need all the help I can get on level 12. This leaves me in a puddle of my own sweat and pretty satisfied. I join up with Gymboy at the weights and we do the bench press. I do 35's and do reps of 10 then 8 then 4 then 2. I have grown quite weak and feel kinda silly but it's progress I guess. He does 45's quite easy and while he does this I sorta ogle him and his narrow waist and broad shoulders. I perhaps have to put some protein into my diet. Maybe I need shakes? We do back and I think the weight is around 100 with reps of 10 all the way through. Then shoulders with 25's for me and I do 10, 10, 8. By the end I'm jittery with so much tiredness and adrenaline. Why can't I just wake up tomorrow and look like this? This is currently on my desktop as my background. Damn him.
Or this fool. Parker Gregory. He has the lean toned look that I want although he may be a bit boob heavy.

Today I ate tomatoes, bran cereal, half a pizza, curry soup thing, broccoli, water.

I'm Shallow

Hmm it's kinda apparent that I'm shallow. If you took a cursory look at my blogroll it's quite filled with good looking guys. Hmm I don't know if I'm shallow though. I am for sure concerned with my looks but not so much about the looks of other people. Unless I'm going to do them. Even then I'm sure I'll be flexible. Oh the curse of being gay and having unrealistic goals. It's weird when people say that. Is it truly unrealistic? I mean there are people that look like that walking around all the time. I see them in the gym. They go to school and still have nice bodies. You're face you can't do much about but your body you sure can. I'm also concerned that the blogs I look at are filled with white guys. Hmm I don't dislike Asian guys. I actually have a few crushes on a few right now. Hmm I'll need to correct this. But how can I correct this with out ending up at a creepy website devoted to fetishizing Asian guys? Well you could say that these websites that I have right now are doing the same things but for white guys. Well they are mostly white, but regardless.

Maybe I just want people to like me so that's why I care about how I look and not how they look. SIgh. Either way I'm starting a workout regiment to slim me down and build me up. Maybe I'll post some pictures from before and after.

Armani Exchange

I recently went through the hiring procedure for Armani Exchange. I thought that it was going well but really it was just a bust. Even though I tried my best I don't think I was tall enough or thin enough. I made it all the way to the second interview. They said that if I don't hear from them in 5 business days that they decided to go with someone else and that they will keep me on record. Which means they are going to throw it away. I mean I'm not sure what I expected but maybe I thought they would have gone on a limb and hired me anyways even though I don't have any retail clothing experience and that my cousin works there. I have a year of customer service which I thought was enough. But again I wasn't good looking enough. I mean it is an overpriced brand and it's on Robson ( the local higher end shopping street) so I guess they want the best looking people. Also I'm young compared to the people that work there too. They are all 20 somethings even though I'm 19. Ugg I can't believe they wouldn't hire me, a gay boy, but they hired some clueless looking straight boys.

The guy that interviewed me was gay and I thought that might give me an edge. Nope! It's because he's white, and probably on his man hunt it says no GAM's (Gay Asian Males). It's pretty typical, people hire people they want to fuck, what else is new? What else do you see in the media but gay white males? What do you think of when you think about gay men; I know that's what I see in my head, two white guys. Isn't that sad? I think it's super sad. In the media there might be some ethnic gay men but they are usually flaming. It's like the only masculine gay men can be white. I mean just look at the portrayal of Asian men in the media? They are some weird sexless entity, they might as well be eunuchs! Either we are some kinda weird punky gangsters, Kung Fu masters, or some nerdy smart guys that work for white guys. It's pretty sickening. They are never fully realized men. Just look at fucking Jacky Chan. What a fucking joke! He can never get the girl and his partner always gets it and his partner is always black or white. I mean that is fucked and he's always their sidekick. Not partner. Saying all that there was an Asian guy working there but he was taller and skinnier than me. So it just makes me think that I'm just this fat midget that is super unemployable. I'll have to start going to the gym hardcore.

At least the look for men is more healthy than it is for women. I mean I'm not saying that every needs to look like a model but taking both into account it's probably easier to be a guy. And it's healthier because for guys you just need to put on muscle and get rid of fat which is made easier by having muscle. But for girls they just have to get skinnier and skinnier.

Hmm that's all the rambling I can muster right now.

edit: It's not because of prejudice, it's because I failed the phone test that tests to see who is a dirty stealer so then they think that I am. And can't hire me because I failed it even if they don't think this about me, company policy.

Halloween

Hmm Halloween. Didn't do much. Well I sat around for a bit at my friends house. I remembered that I had to take a picture of my costume for a photo contest that that blogger "London Preppy" is having. Let's just say that I look like a jerk in a slutty rugby player costume.

Ulitmate Frisbee

Ultimate Frisbee is my sport of choice. There are a few reasons for this. I don't really like sports that are very agro. In basket ball and football it's just so macho in the bad way and it pisses me off. And Ultimate is a very welcoming atmosphere usually and easy going.

I'm starting a queer positive Ultimate team and I think it's going to go really well. I've been on my high school team and a junior national team, and my University team but I've never connected to my teammates that well. I don't what puts up that wall. Some how I just can't connect to straight men, not that they are idiots or anything but it's just that I can't relate in some strange way. Maybe it's the fear, you are always thinking "Who is actually OK with this? How gay is too gay? How much can they really handle? Are they going to understand or are they going to be a jerk about it?". I think there is just more of a base comfort with gays. I think this is the main reason why we need this kind of team. So that GLBTQ people who thought they could never play on a team because of homophobia and the fear of being found out can finally can.

Right now we have a plethora of lesbians that want to play but we have one gay guy (me) and a bi guy. The thing with ultimate is that it's a binary, meaning you have to have certain ratios of women to men on the field at the same time, this is just to keep it "fair". Some people think this is sexist but all PC stuff aside. Men and women will never compete in the same professional leagues. Guys genetically just have the potential to be stronger faster than women do. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not saying that a woman can never beat a guy. I'm sure there are a lot of women players that are better than me. For men it's just much much easier to pack on the muscle than it is for women. If we are just being real on the average men are stronger than women, women have to train much harder than men to be just as strong. You will never see a woman and a man boxing. I'm sorry if there was a team that was all men playing ultimate against a team of all women (depending on who they are) in general I would bet on the men to win. Men usually are taller and faster. The top woman's team in Ultimate could never beat the top men's team. There is just no way around it. Some people are giving me shit about this but really I don't think that I'm wrong to say that I want more men on the team. I was to stay competitive and that means more men. And plus what am I suppose to look at. I mean I like lesbians and all but I thought this was for me too and that means more gay men. Also in sports I think it's harder to be a gay man than it is to be a gay woman because a gay man is seen to be weaker and soft while a gay woman is seen to be tougher and stronger. And the world of sports tougher and stronger is usually a good thing. So I don't think it's bad to want to give more gay guys the chance to play even if it means I'm actively seeking them out and not doing the same for lesbians. I mean I'll still look for lesbians but I'll just try harder for the men's.

Boys Akimbo

Is there a name any prettier than Evandro Soldati? If you don't know he's a new wave male supermodel from Brazil. He just can't be stopped. He's been in everything from low end Abercrombi (which I'll forgive him for he was 16) to Dolce and Vuiton (I won't go on, the list is endless and people wouldn't know anyways either unless you were into fashion).


So today went alright. I went to my organic chem tutorial and it was really informative. The TA does a good job of explaining it very simply unlike others that shall remain unnamed. Then I went to my REM 100 (resource and environmental management) and my Professor referred to Frankenstein and he incorrectly called Frankenstein's monster Frankenstein. I told him that it was Dr. Frankenstein and not the monster. He said that he knew but that's what people think anyways. Seriously he's doing no one any favours. He looks ignorant and loses points with the students that do know this and to the ones that are under this illusion are left ignorant. I mean really, could he not have taken that moment to enlighten those who didn't know. He is a teacher after all.

After I went to class I went to the space (the queer group common room) and sat around not talking to the "queers" whom were being quite annoying. This fall semester it's pretty busy and it kinda annoys me because there are just so many people running around they are SO LOUD! It used to feel like my second home because it would be quite and I would just use it all the time.This time around though there is a friend in the space that seems to be into me now. His name will be Gymboy. I met him last fall when I first started coming to the space but he was kinda chubby. He's lost about 20 pounds now and has put on some muscle and he's looking pretty good from where I'm standing. His shoulders are nice broad and he has a narrow waist. He's invited me to go swimming the next day which I agreed to. He's in direct competition with Swimboy now. I'm torn. Gymboy has the better body but I feel like I get along with swim boy better. I should just have a 3 way with them. I'm pretty torn as Natalie would say.

Today I also when to donate blood. If you didn't know in Canada you can't donate blood if you are a man who has had sex with men even one time since 1977. So I lied ok! What's the big deal, it's not like I'm a rent boy or anything. And I wasn't the only one! There was this huge flamer there that could not hide his sin if he wanted to. He was wearing a cable knit sweater, the kind with the zipper in the collar that can open up and come down into a triangle kinda thing. Wow if that wasn't enough evidence for you he talked on his phone and it was a typical gay nazely voice. He then started to drink his juice box quite gaily. I was sitting with Callipygian Venus ( real life/blog friend) and I pointed him out and said, "I can't even stand it, look at the INFERNO that's happening over there in the refreshment area." If I were the one to screen him I would have been like, "Come on now... for reals? ". My other friend Cyberite( real life/blog friend) was denied because she didn't have enough iron in her blood. Possibly from being vegetarian.

Foolus Maximus

Today wasn't bad but it aggravating for about 4 hours. I had my organic chem lab and there is this guy in there that pissed me off to no end. I just feel like the he should get deported. I mean I'm just being reasonable. He's pretty much the largest (and I do mean "largest") fool I've met in a long long time.

Firstly he's an idiot. Every lab he screws something up. Either he breaks a thermometer or vacuum tube or splashes me with water when he's trying to set up his cooling system. He's quite the f**k up. Hopefully he'll just accidentally break a test tube and it will accidentally get jabbed brutally into his throat. Secondly he breaths so very loudly, it sounds like he's a serial killer just waiting to screw up my experiment. This may sound like a small thing but it drives me insane and I've decided that he's a psycho. Thirdly he's fat. Usually this doesn't make me hate someone. I was fat once myself and still have fat to lose but he's a special kind of fat. The "unaware of their own size" fat person. He bumps into me all the time. I could have been standing there for 10 minutes and he would still bump into me. And he does this while I'm doing very precise things and yet he feels the need that I need some gentle nudging that drives me up the wall.

Other than that hell hole it was a pretty good day. Not so much stress. Just hung out with some friends at school.

And then there was LIGHT! (again)

So this is my triumphant return to blogger not that anyone knew I existed the first time but it's a return none the less. I've grown a little wiser and little gayer but all in all I'm ready to post again. So lets start with today!

Today was kinda eventful I went to the pool for the first time in a LONG time. My new friend , which I'll call Swimboy, is teaching me how to swim. It felt pretty good to get in the water. I've forgotten how much fun it could be. I never used to swim that much because I used to be a chubby kid and really didn't like being seen half naked. It felt like everyone was looking at my fat so I would wear a shirt sometimes but that wasn't helpful because it would cling to my body and still show all my fatty fatty fat fat :/. Well this time was a pretty good experience even though I had to swallow a few cups of water. I'm not so self conscious now because I've lost a quite a bit of weight thanks to Ultimate Frisbee which I'm pretty proud of, but not satisfied with.

He tried to teach me to do the front crawl. I went in with an open mind and a winners attitude. Needless to say I sank almost all the time and received many joyful nose fulls of water. I'm way too tense in the water; I fight the water. Why wouldn't I? It's trying to drown me! Well that's not it's fault, but it does kill thousands of people a year? It's something to think about.

Towards the end I did loosen up and was more leisurely about my strokes. It felt really good. I think I just can't remember all the things I need to do. You have to remember to keep good form and to keep kicking, to breath, to turn over, and to move your arms. I think I might need to learn each part separately and to make them automatic so that I don't have to think about it.

And like any good gay blog you need some T&A to appease the eyes. So here we have a nice swimmer boy minding his own business.

I'm practically getting an eating disorder looking at him. It wouldn't be so shabby if I started to look like him after a few lessons : ) Well a guy can dream.