Ugggh

I really haven't moved much from the first day I've been diagnosed. I hope being diagnosed hasn't fucked with my head. I really hope it hasn't. I hope knowing it hasn't made it stronger...

My feelings inform my thoughts and my thoughts form my actions and my actions create feelings. My team of therapists say that I have to change my actions before I can change my thoughts and feelings. It makes sense. Basically 'fake it until you make it'. I should give it a try, but I really hate myself.

I give way to much power to other people. Especially people on the internet. Why do I let their actions affect me so much. Why can't I blame them for being stupid and not myself? I need to stop watching people live their lives and start to live mine again. I used to be productive and have goals I reached. But that was when things were more straight forward.

I hope this team of doctors can help me better this time. I'm hopeful. Hope is irrational but it's the key to surviving depression.

Ugggh

I really haven't moved much from the first day I've been diagnosed. I hope being diagnosed hasn't fucked with my head. I really hope it hasn't. I hope knowing it hasn't made it stronger...

My feelings inform my thoughts and my thoughts form my actions and my actions create feelings. My team of therapists say that I have to change my actions before I can change my thoughts and feelings. It makes sense. Basically 'fake it until you make it'. I should give it try.

I give way to much power to other people. Especially people on the internet. Why do I let their actions affect me so much. Why can't I blame them for being stupid and not myself? I need to stop watching people live their lives and start to live mine again. I used to be productive and had goals I reached. But that was when things were more straight forward. Now I just try to survive and not be noticed.