I feel like I am never on the inside. I'm always on the outside. Even when it's a birthday party for me I feel like I have to choose a circle of friends and invite all of them to come. Like I'm just the venue for these friends to have fun. I feel like I keep changing. I keep changing and that just naturally makes certain people incompatible with me any more. Is that horrible? "Oh sorry there Bob but I keep evolving personally and you are now obsolete. You have served your purpose for me and I am moving on."