My Birthday Cake

Things are just fucking wonderful

I fucking planned a party and made all this food and no one is coming now. It's my own fault for thinking I have actual friends. I hate everyone.

Edit: Well like usual I over reacted, people did come :P tee hee. It was a good time especially cause Evandro came by :P

I feel like I am never on the inside. I'm always on the outside. Even when it's a birthday party for me I feel like I have to choose a circle of friends and invite all of them to come. Like I'm just the venue for these friends to have fun. I feel like I keep changing. I keep changing and that just naturally makes certain people incompatible with me any more. Is that horrible? "Oh sorry there Bob but I keep evolving personally and you are now obsolete. You have served your purpose for me and I am moving on."

I hate feeling like this. Today June 7th, the day before my birthday I suddenly think "this might be the last birthday that I will spend with my mother, 21 years ago we were one and now we might finally be separated forever". I hate feeling like I am preparing to say goodbye to my mother.

New Moon Screen Caps