Things are just fucking wonderful

I fucking planned a party and made all this food and no one is coming now. It's my own fault for thinking I have actual friends. I hate everyone.

Edit: Well like usual I over reacted, people did come :P tee hee. It was a good time especially cause Evandro came by :P

I feel like I am never on the inside. I'm always on the outside. Even when it's a birthday party for me I feel like I have to choose a circle of friends and invite all of them to come. Like I'm just the venue for these friends to have fun. I feel like I keep changing. I keep changing and that just naturally makes certain people incompatible with me any more. Is that horrible? "Oh sorry there Bob but I keep evolving personally and you are now obsolete. You have served your purpose for me and I am moving on."

I hate feeling like this. Today June 7th, the day before my birthday I suddenly think "this might be the last birthday that I will spend with my mother, 21 years ago we were one and now we might finally be separated forever". I hate feeling like I am preparing to say goodbye to my mother.

New Moon Screen Caps

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

With out a doubt, this person is a genius.

So Many Wins

Less Than Expected

So after a long time since London Preppy fell into a well I've actually gotten around to reading the book behind the blog. I finished reading the novella after some east Indian lady took a pint of my bloods. It was underwhelming. I thought that it would have been more shocking. I think I liked the book more before I read it. Like just the idea of it. The gist of the book was that there is some kid Clay (who is rich, pretty, young, does drugs, and so are all his friends) and he is emotionally numb, in a way to protect himself from all of the horrible things that happen around him. Can I relate, sorta. I think most people who've read Less Than Zero will find it shocking. I think it was lost on me because I've read things that are far more shocking and I guess in a way I had already torn my shocking literature hymen. The book that took my flower was "The Sluts". Fitting no? Teee heee the sluts took my cherry la la la. Anyways. The sluts was about a rentboy and a website where people can post reviews of the rentboy and there is this boy Brad and the reviews progressivly get more and more depraved and confusing as accounts contradict each other and we don't know who is telling the truth. Brad is beaten up, limbs broken, amputated, castrated, and killed. Don't worry they go into far more disturbing detail than I will go into here.

So LTZ was tame in comparisson. I guess you always remember your first time and compare everything else to it. I do have to say that LTZ is more focused on character development than The Sluts because the sluts was basically just a long ride of accounts of Johns doing horrible things to Brad. In LTZ Clay sorta has a character arch. It pretty much ends the way it started. I think this was the intention of the author. The book often repeats "dissapear here" and that's one of the main themes of the book. People may enter LA with morals and ethics but soon they dissapear and giving way to headonism and blah blah blah. BEE does get across the feeling of summer. Where days blur into each other. Doing the same things everyday nothing changing. It was alright. It's not a book you should read if you want something with strong plot or character evolution. It's main goal was to record a very specific subculture of LA in the 80's. This I feel that it does very well. But is it my favourite book ever, no. Is it my favourite book I've read in a while? No. Reading it felt like I was looking through an old photo album. So it didn't realy feel like I read a story just a collection of snapshots. Also I didn't care for the characters. I just did not care. It didn't seem like anything 'bad' was gonna happen to Clay. In the sluts you do give a shit cause you are liek OMG we have to find Brad and save him from himself! They are gonna muuuuurrrrder that poor boy.

Well what am I trying to say here. The book was ok. Would I recommend it to someone. Sure. I guess I just couldn't relate. But that doesn't mean others can't find meaning in it. I just didn't. I think I'm gonna stop typing now. :)